jrstraus (jrstraus) wrote,

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Easter and Family

Dreamt of Gram's potica (pa-TEET-za) last night. Woke up after that dream at 3:30a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep again. I think I'm more bummed about losing a family tradition that I realized. See, this year will be the first Easter since my Gram died, and it is the first Easter Saturday that I won't be spending with the Strauss side of the family. We're just not getting together... so many things going on in people's lives, and the family is so big. It means that potentially, even though we're all so close physically, we might only see each other once a year on Christmas Eve. In fact, this past year there was discussion of even cancelling Christmas Eve; thankfully we did celebrate Christmas Eve Observed and got together anyway.

I guess it is really bothering me. I sat up stewing about it for probably an hour last night. Trying to figure out a way to not lose this tradition. Couldn't come up with anything for the moment. See, we've always had a big, pretty close family. I love that. I can't even imagine my life without my giant, crazy family and I wouldn't have it any other way. Perhaps some people think I'm nuts, but I absolutely love my family and I think I really lucked out to be stuck with them.

Am sad. Am remembering Gram's potica. How she made it one year when I was a kid, and I politely showered praise on it. How she then made that complicated potica year after year and would say she made it because she remembered I liked it so much. How I would internally groan, because I didn't really even like it that much at the time. Man, I think about how hard it would be to recreate Gram's potica now and I realize how ungrateful a ten year old I was.

I miss Easter Saturday at Gram and Pop's. Everyone in the basement with Jello eggs, and those deviled eggs that I would eat a million of. Dinner set out on that big long table in the back room with the sausage and the ham and rye bread. Uncle Bill. The bar that seemed so tall, that always had soda behind it. I miss it all.

It's sad to lose family traditions. I feel now like I'm going through a whole new kind of mourning... last year I thought we just lost Gram, but now I'm realizing that in reality my family may have gotten a whole lot smaller than that.
Tags: family
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