Pouter

Easter and Family

Dreamt of Gram's potica (pa-TEET-za) last night. Woke up after that dream at 3:30a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep again. I think I'm more bummed about losing a family tradition that I realized. See, this year will be the first Easter since my Gram died, and it is the first Easter Saturday that I won't be spending with the Strauss side of the family. We're just not getting together... so many things going on in people's lives, and the family is so big. It means that potentially, even though we're all so close physically, we might only see each other once a year on Christmas Eve. In fact, this past year there was discussion of even cancelling Christmas Eve; thankfully we did celebrate Christmas Eve Observed and got together anyway.

I guess it is really bothering me. I sat up stewing about it for probably an hour last night. Trying to figure out a way to not lose this tradition. Couldn't come up with anything for the moment. See, we've always had a big, pretty close family. I love that. I can't even imagine my life without my giant, crazy family and I wouldn't have it any other way. Perhaps some people think I'm nuts, but I absolutely love my family and I think I really lucked out to be stuck with them.

Am sad. Am remembering Gram's potica. How she made it one year when I was a kid, and I politely showered praise on it. How she then made that complicated potica year after year and would say she made it because she remembered I liked it so much. How I would internally groan, because I didn't really even like it that much at the time. Man, I think about how hard it would be to recreate Gram's potica now and I realize how ungrateful a ten year old I was.

I miss Easter Saturday at Gram and Pop's. Everyone in the basement with Jello eggs, and those deviled eggs that I would eat a million of. Dinner set out on that big long table in the back room with the sausage and the ham and rye bread. Uncle Bill. The bar that seemed so tall, that always had soda behind it. I miss it all.

It's sad to lose family traditions. I feel now like I'm going through a whole new kind of mourning... last year I thought we just lost Gram, but now I'm realizing that in reality my family may have gotten a whole lot smaller than that.
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You Silly

Particle Accelerator Training: Day 13

10AM. We're so almost there. The baby has been sleeping for almost an hour and a half - glory be! I managed to empty the dishwasher and straighten up a bit, and even read to Q. I did, however, put on makeup for the first time in a few weeks in lieu of folding the diapers. I figure its better to feel human this morning.

Feeling a little bit like supermom. I wonder if it has anything to do with wearing Boop's ring? She was kind of a supermom - she was still a great lady even with all those kids and under difficult circumstances. Not to mention, my mom wore the ring for years too, so there's all this supermom mojo happening. I should have put the thing on earlier! Now when K wakes up we're going to the Toddler Playgym and then we're muddling our way through the afternoon and I'm having girls' night with the high school pals before Hubby comes home late. Hm. Maybe I should warn the girls that the house hasn't really been cleaned in two weeks? Nah, they'll get over it. Hooray for dust and dog hair and sanity!
You Silly

Particle Accelerator Training: Day 12

2pm. It was really nice to have Dana here this morning - the extra pair of hands is so crazy helpful, and having another adult to talk to is helping to stave off the crazy. Unfortunately, she left around 11 and I still have the rest of the day to get through. The cold is a lot worse, my head feels like a balloon and I can't breathe through my nose, and now I don't have the nice distraction from it. K is still on short nap rations, though at least Q is sleeping. Am trying to put on snappy non-music-class music to keep things upbeat. Maybe tomorrow we'll actually get out of the house again. On the positive side, our neighbor unexpectedly shoveled our walk, which was just super-nice. It's great to know that we've got support. We're still in survival mode, but we're getting to the home stretch. Deep breaths, grace and aplomb.

7:30pm. The rest of the day went well. Snappy music helped much. Never thought I'd be dancing to Miley Cyrus in my dining room, but, well...

"Put my hands up, they're playing my song, the butterflies fly away.
I'm noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah,
Put my hands up they're playing my song, know I'm gonna be okay."

Sadly, Stephanie and Benjamin couldn't come to play but we still had a good afternoon. K still needs to be held pretty much every minute, but perhaps I made my peace with that for the moment. And the boy just couldn't sleep - we had a few hours of rocking and crying and crying and rocking, but... We're almost there! Just keep singin'!
You Silly

Particle Accelerator Training: Day 11

We got through this one. My cold was worse, but I had enough distractions that I didn't notice so much. Hooray for sisters and friends who come over to help! I think K may have been fussy enough to even overtax my two visitors, but it was so nice to have the company, and the ability to switch the laundry and empty the dishwasher. Becky and Dana even sat with Q while I gave K his bath and put him to bed - so crazy helpful! We then had a very nice girls night to end the day. Another day down.
You Silly

Particle Accelerator Training: Days 8, 9, and 10

I have been remiss. Here are the last few days.

Day 8 was much better than Day 7. I regained my equillibrium and again remembered my mantra. It helped very much that Amy came over for the entire afternoon just to help out. I was able to get the kids packed up and even got out to run an errand. It was lovely. And then we had our birthday celebration for my little sis that night at mom and dad's. I am one of those people who genuinely enjoys being with my family, so that night was great. By the end of that day, I found myself very pleased that I could say, "8 days down, only 5 to go!" Yep, five. He's only gone 13 days, not 14, and somehow it felt like I had been gifted a day.

Then came Day 9. Started out well, the boys slept in. I had my dentist appointment at noon, and my mom had offered to watch the boys while I was out. Glorious! I don't remember ever looking forward to a dentist appointment so much. The hygenist thinks I need to get a life. I did manage to go out for lunch and hang out at the knit shop for a while. Somehow I sensed that I was needed, though, and headed home. Sure enough... the boys hadn't napped well, K's fever was back up (the fifth day in a row!), and my mom seemed like she needed a hot bath. From there, poor K was sick as a dog and Q decided that it was an appropriate time to test all of his limits. The kid listened to no one - not JoJo, certainly not Papa, and not Mommy. By the time we got them in bed (after an hour of crying from the little one), we all needed a hot bath. To top it off, I got a text message (not even the courtesy of a phone call, thank you very much) to say that the basement guys hadn't shown up, but they'll be there on Wednesday and Thursday. Well, Dear Internet, the whole damn reason we were at my parents' place (for the third time in two weeks) to stay over was because they were to have been working on the basement. He was a no-show for the third time. Pretty furious at this point. I think it says something that at the end of Day 8, I thought ONLY 5 days left, and by the end of Day 9 I was thinking that 4 days felt really long.

In comes Day 10. I'm tired already. And I think my parents are too. I skipped music class to take poor K to the doc (we were late, of course), where I discovered that his fever is due to a bad ear infection. Poor kid! Somehow, though, I think knowing that made it easier. At least now I have an explanation for the fussy, the fever, and the sleeplessness. We actually got everybody and everything in the car with only minimal fighting (with the dog, of all things! I had to pick all 90 pounds of him up to put him in the car b/c he wanted to stay at Grandmas!) and the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. We got through it. Still not sure how to get K to take his antibiotics, but we're getting by again with some measure of grace and aplomb. And though I have now started off Day 11 with the nasty cold that the boys have had for the past week, I think we're going to make it!