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20 most recent entries

Date:2010-06-09 08:35
Subject:June Challenge

June 8:
150 jumping jacks
200 situps
100 leg lifts
50 lunges
30 dips
20 push ups - real ones, not modified.

Getting back into it.

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Date:2010-06-08 11:04
Subject:June Challenge

Fri June 4:
100 jumping jacks
100 situps
20 push ups
100 leg lifts

Saturday June 5:
100 situps

Sunday, Monday June 6 and 7:
Whole lotta nothin.
Doing better today.

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Date:2010-06-04 08:54
Subject:June Challenge

June 3:
60 sit ups
20 push ups

I'm going to call this a resting day. We can't do it all every day.
But if I get through the week I'm going to give myself a reward.

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Date:2010-06-03 09:23
Subject:June challenge

June 2:
200 jumping jacks
150 situps
50 pushups

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Date:2010-06-02 12:20
Subject:June challenge

June challenge:
June 1: 60 sit ups
Weak, I know, but I'm getting there. Only just decided that fitness will be my June challenge.

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Date:2010-03-30 14:21
Subject:Easter and Family
Mood: sad

Dreamt of Gram's potica (pa-TEET-za) last night. Woke up after that dream at 3:30a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep again. I think I'm more bummed about losing a family tradition that I realized. See, this year will be the first Easter since my Gram died, and it is the first Easter Saturday that I won't be spending with the Strauss side of the family. We're just not getting together... so many things going on in people's lives, and the family is so big. It means that potentially, even though we're all so close physically, we might only see each other once a year on Christmas Eve. In fact, this past year there was discussion of even cancelling Christmas Eve; thankfully we did celebrate Christmas Eve Observed and got together anyway.

I guess it is really bothering me. I sat up stewing about it for probably an hour last night. Trying to figure out a way to not lose this tradition. Couldn't come up with anything for the moment. See, we've always had a big, pretty close family. I love that. I can't even imagine my life without my giant, crazy family and I wouldn't have it any other way. Perhaps some people think I'm nuts, but I absolutely love my family and I think I really lucked out to be stuck with them.

Am sad. Am remembering Gram's potica. How she made it one year when I was a kid, and I politely showered praise on it. How she then made that complicated potica year after year and would say she made it because she remembered I liked it so much. How I would internally groan, because I didn't really even like it that much at the time. Man, I think about how hard it would be to recreate Gram's potica now and I realize how ungrateful a ten year old I was.

I miss Easter Saturday at Gram and Pop's. Everyone in the basement with Jello eggs, and those deviled eggs that I would eat a million of. Dinner set out on that big long table in the back room with the sausage and the ham and rye bread. Uncle Bill. The bar that seemed so tall, that always had soda behind it. I miss it all.

It's sad to lose family traditions. I feel now like I'm going through a whole new kind of mourning... last year I thought we just lost Gram, but now I'm realizing that in reality my family may have gotten a whole lot smaller than that.

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Date:2010-01-29 10:15
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 13
Mood: hopeful

10AM. We're so almost there. The baby has been sleeping for almost an hour and a half - glory be! I managed to empty the dishwasher and straighten up a bit, and even read to Q. I did, however, put on makeup for the first time in a few weeks in lieu of folding the diapers. I figure its better to feel human this morning.

Feeling a little bit like supermom. I wonder if it has anything to do with wearing Boop's ring? She was kind of a supermom - she was still a great lady even with all those kids and under difficult circumstances. Not to mention, my mom wore the ring for years too, so there's all this supermom mojo happening. I should have put the thing on earlier! Now when K wakes up we're going to the Toddler Playgym and then we're muddling our way through the afternoon and I'm having girls' night with the high school pals before Hubby comes home late. Hm. Maybe I should warn the girls that the house hasn't really been cleaned in two weeks? Nah, they'll get over it. Hooray for dust and dog hair and sanity!

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Date:2010-01-28 14:17
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 12

2pm. It was really nice to have Dana here this morning - the extra pair of hands is so crazy helpful, and having another adult to talk to is helping to stave off the crazy. Unfortunately, she left around 11 and I still have the rest of the day to get through. The cold is a lot worse, my head feels like a balloon and I can't breathe through my nose, and now I don't have the nice distraction from it. K is still on short nap rations, though at least Q is sleeping. Am trying to put on snappy non-music-class music to keep things upbeat. Maybe tomorrow we'll actually get out of the house again. On the positive side, our neighbor unexpectedly shoveled our walk, which was just super-nice. It's great to know that we've got support. We're still in survival mode, but we're getting to the home stretch. Deep breaths, grace and aplomb.

7:30pm. The rest of the day went well. Snappy music helped much. Never thought I'd be dancing to Miley Cyrus in my dining room, but, well...

"Put my hands up, they're playing my song, the butterflies fly away.
I'm noddin' my head like yeah, movin' my hips like yeah,
Put my hands up they're playing my song, know I'm gonna be okay."

Sadly, Stephanie and Benjamin couldn't come to play but we still had a good afternoon. K still needs to be held pretty much every minute, but perhaps I made my peace with that for the moment. And the boy just couldn't sleep - we had a few hours of rocking and crying and crying and rocking, but... We're almost there! Just keep singin'!

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Date:2010-01-28 14:06
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 11
Mood:getting there

We got through this one. My cold was worse, but I had enough distractions that I didn't notice so much. Hooray for sisters and friends who come over to help! I think K may have been fussy enough to even overtax my two visitors, but it was so nice to have the company, and the ability to switch the laundry and empty the dishwasher. Becky and Dana even sat with Q while I gave K his bath and put him to bed - so crazy helpful! We then had a very nice girls night to end the day. Another day down.

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Date:2010-01-27 09:19
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Days 8, 9, and 10

I have been remiss. Here are the last few days.

Day 8 was much better than Day 7. I regained my equillibrium and again remembered my mantra. It helped very much that Amy came over for the entire afternoon just to help out. I was able to get the kids packed up and even got out to run an errand. It was lovely. And then we had our birthday celebration for my little sis that night at mom and dad's. I am one of those people who genuinely enjoys being with my family, so that night was great. By the end of that day, I found myself very pleased that I could say, "8 days down, only 5 to go!" Yep, five. He's only gone 13 days, not 14, and somehow it felt like I had been gifted a day.

Then came Day 9. Started out well, the boys slept in. I had my dentist appointment at noon, and my mom had offered to watch the boys while I was out. Glorious! I don't remember ever looking forward to a dentist appointment so much. The hygenist thinks I need to get a life. I did manage to go out for lunch and hang out at the knit shop for a while. Somehow I sensed that I was needed, though, and headed home. Sure enough... the boys hadn't napped well, K's fever was back up (the fifth day in a row!), and my mom seemed like she needed a hot bath. From there, poor K was sick as a dog and Q decided that it was an appropriate time to test all of his limits. The kid listened to no one - not JoJo, certainly not Papa, and not Mommy. By the time we got them in bed (after an hour of crying from the little one), we all needed a hot bath. To top it off, I got a text message (not even the courtesy of a phone call, thank you very much) to say that the basement guys hadn't shown up, but they'll be there on Wednesday and Thursday. Well, Dear Internet, the whole damn reason we were at my parents' place (for the third time in two weeks) to stay over was because they were to have been working on the basement. He was a no-show for the third time. Pretty furious at this point. I think it says something that at the end of Day 8, I thought ONLY 5 days left, and by the end of Day 9 I was thinking that 4 days felt really long.

In comes Day 10. I'm tired already. And I think my parents are too. I skipped music class to take poor K to the doc (we were late, of course), where I discovered that his fever is due to a bad ear infection. Poor kid! Somehow, though, I think knowing that made it easier. At least now I have an explanation for the fussy, the fever, and the sleeplessness. We actually got everybody and everything in the car with only minimal fighting (with the dog, of all things! I had to pick all 90 pounds of him up to put him in the car b/c he wanted to stay at Grandmas!) and the rest of the day was pretty uneventful. We got through it. Still not sure how to get K to take his antibiotics, but we're getting by again with some measure of grace and aplomb. And though I have now started off Day 11 with the nasty cold that the boys have had for the past week, I think we're going to make it!

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Date:2010-01-23 18:48
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 7

Grace and aplomb have left me for the evening.
I have two sick babies and have been watching them by myself for the last seven days, and still have seven more to go. The baby is sick and exhausted and won't let me put him down, and is prone to crying for an hour in the evenings for no discernable reason, even after he's been fed. His big brother has been testing me all day. We hadn't been out of the house in two days so went to music class this morning, just hoping that if I kept the baby from touching anything that maybe they wouldn't get anyone else sick. Q took the opportunity to pull the curtains down and make me chase him the whole class. Something smells in the fridge. I haven't been able to empty the dishwasher all day, though I'm not sure I'm eating, so I'm not sure there are really any dishes to wash today. The recycling needs to go out again, the laundry needs to be done. The toddler is still testing me, throwing his fork on the floor, opening the dishwasher. He actually grabbed a pan on the stove while I was making dinner - thank god I hadn't turned the burner on yet.
My patience is gone. I wonder if you can get it on credit.
I think just for tonight I am going to abandon the idea of grace and aplomb, with the prospect of a crying baby in a few hours and seven more days of this, and I'm going to allow myself to curl up in a ball and cry.
In a few hours I will remember that I can do anything for two weeks.

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Date:2010-01-22 09:38
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 6

K is so much sicker. The poor baby just sits there limp and wimpers. We're supposed to have a playdate today, but I can't subject other kids to this - that's not fair. So we're probably going to have two full days without leaving the house except to take out the trash. Sheesh, I'm starting to feel like I could use some backup. Eight more days. Really? Ick.

And as it turns out, the basement work will theoretically move forward next week. Here comes another few days of living with the boys at Mom and Dad's place. Well, I'll worry about that later. Today I just have to figure out what to do with a sick baby and how to get the post office.

2PM. Thank heaven for neighbors. Great neighbors who run to the post office for you and come hang out for half an hour just so you have a few extra hands at lunchtime. An incredible help.

Also thank heaven that Q is a sound sleeper. The basement guys brought an army to come and walk around the basement for 45 minutes during naps. They all showed up at different times and knocked on the door and the dog flipped out every time. K's nap didn't survive, but Q is still out like a light. Amazing little boy.

7:39 PM. The boys are washed fed and tucked into bed. The dishes are washed, the house is clean, the toys are put away, and the laundry is caught-up-on. I am now going to pretend it's really a Friday night and relax the heck out of it.

I am also going to make sure to note that K got much better as the day went on. We had some serious fun while Q was sleeping - K sat up and played for a while, and that's a milestone he's been creeping toward. He also is getting really good at holding on to things to stand up. Once he gets that balance down, I suspect he'll be walking before he crawls. And Q, I just discovered, is tall enough not to fit under the changing table anymore. Last week his head cleared it, but now he's even taller and before I know it he'll be taller than me and going off to college. He decided this morning that he wanted to wear socks, and he put a tan sock on his left foot, then FIVE socks on his right foot. Goofball. He also told me that he was in the "sock gap" when I was getting him ready for his bath. What has Hobie been teaching that boy? :)

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Date:2010-01-21 20:24
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 5
Mood:getting by

Kids are sicker.
I managed to delete about 1200 songs accidentally from my iTunes in a moment of haste and distraction.
It's garbage day, and I miss Hobie even more.


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Date:2010-01-20 11:32
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 4

4:30 AM. Everyone is awake. This doesn't bode well.

11:30 AM. Managed to eventually get everyone back to bed! K woke up around 8:30, and Q slept until 9:30 - unheard of! Quinn woke up and the cold has now reached massive proportions, so I'm not surprised he slept late. Poor guy... wants to sit on mommy's lap under the blanket, and the cloudy sky is 'too bright in my eyes', so we've closed the curtains. What I wonder now is what effect this will have on the rest of the day's naps! K went down for his first nap at the time he usually wakes up... well, I may just be doomed, that's all. In the meantime, I'm going to eat some of the banana flavored ice cream that my kiddo just cooked up for me with care. Watch out! he says, it's hot!

12:30 PM.
Me: "Q, do you want pear or orange for lunch?"
Q: "Care."
Me: "Pear? or orange?"
Q: "Care."
Me: "Pear. With a Puh."
Q: "Care. With a Puck."

7:20 PM. The afternoon was trying. We got out of the house for a stroll to the birdseed store, where K managed to meltdown everytime he saw the nice, grandfatherly birdseed store owner. Played, etc. K went to bed, again crying for 15/20 mins. I am so tired of having to listen to him cry every single time I put him down to sleep. According to the book, it should be working very differently. We let him cry so that he'll learn to sleep better - thus one week of crying will avoid years of bad sleeping. Well let me tell ya, the week is up, and then some. And I'm starting to think that rather than training him to sleep, we're just training me to ignore his cries. And I don't like that at all. Q finally went down too, after a few tantrums. Poor kid is so sick. So now, my patience is all but gone. Here's hoping they sleep well. I could really use a long soak in a quiet tub, but will be entertaining tonight. Hopefully seeing friends will be just as relaxing and rejuvenating.

End of the day and the friend visit was very pleasant. A nice reminder that I'm a person outside of this (wonderful) Mom title that I hold. But I miss Hobie. Just put K down again after feeding him. He woke up and cried several times, and it's just so hard to ... I feel like he's crying all the time. He's not. He's such a happy baby, but when you're a mom, one minute of crying just feels like many multiples of that, and it's starting to feel like he's crying more than he's smiling. And having people over when I'm actively trying to ignore the crying... well that's not fun. Sort of changes the whole mood of the evening. I miss Hobie. When he's around, I'm not the only one who thinks the sleep training is a good idea. I'm still outnumbered, but at least I'm not the only one.

Must sleep, because I've got another tomorrow and must do it all again.

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Date:2010-01-19 20:20
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 3 Part 2

The day ends well. Everybody washed and tucked into their beds. I admit, I hate having to scoop my own ice cream, but other than that, there's another day we got through with success.

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Date:2010-01-19 12:42
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 3
Mood:just fine, thanks

Did I mention that my parents are going out of town, too? Well, they left. And Q has a cold? It's getting worse. So we skipped music class, said bon voyage to JoJo and Papa, and headed home. After all, there's still no jackhammering (and no word from the subcontractor either).
It's around this time that I discover that my unwelcome aunt who's been gone for 9+7 months has decided to resurface for a visit. Really, Universe? Really?

However, it's nice to be home. Kai seems to be willing to let me put him down today and I'm looking forward to my sister's visit this afternoon, though I'm learning to not get my hopes up. Anything could happen between now and then.

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Date:2010-01-19 12:28
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 2

Day 2. Boys slept well, so the day started off well. We were going to have a bunch of jackhammering in the basement today and on Day 3, so I had planned to load up my entire household, dog and all, (Thumb was guarding the house) and take them to my parents' for a sleepover. This was met with much trepidation, but I was determined that it should work out. I was so successful at getting everything packed up and ready to go, taking care of Thumbelina's needs as well as the boys' and stowing valuables and covering things that I didn't want covered in cement dust.

And then we waited.

And waited.

An hour. With a tired baby and a boy who I see by this point has a nasty, surly cold.

Screw it. With grace and aplomb, gave up on waiting for the basement guy - I'd just give him the keycode and a piece of my mind - and I put everybody in the car.

Five minutes into the drive, I find that all this has been in vain, because the basment guy has the flu. Deep breaths. We just kept going.

The day went generally well after that, though it's never fun to have an inconsolable sleepless baby at someone else's house. We had fun. Day 2 down, with grace and aplomb.

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Date:2010-01-19 12:18
Subject:Particle Accelerator Training: Day 1
Mood: optimistic

Amy has suggested that for these two weeks that Hobie is away at Particle Accelerator Camp and while I am here with the boys, I should blog about it. I think she's right, and that it might amuse me - something utterly necessary for us all to survive this Dad's Away experiment.

Day 1: Hobie got himself and his luggage into the car, and Quinn is so intrigued by the "Man" that left with Daddy - the driver. I've been hearing about Daddy's luggage and the man all day. We handled this day with all the grace and aplomb that I could hope for. We played with the airport and sent daddy in the taxi and on the plane and made sure his luggage didn't get lost. The day was actually much easier because I loaded the boys up and took them to my mom and dad's, where their wonderful Aunt Jill babysat with cousin Halle so I could go down to tea at the Drake to wish Seebany happy birthday and safe travels (she's moving to CA - boo!). Packing up the boys to go back and forth was a little bit of a headache and we missed baths and bedtime, but the day was quite a success. I guess that will happen when somebody else watches the kids for a good chunk of the day!

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Date:2009-12-09 08:50
Subject:Christmas wishes

I wish to go to sleep at night and not wake up until morning. And then go back to sleep for a few minutes more, just because I can.
I wish for my pre-kid boobs.
I wish for the time to take a shower every day and actually do my hair, even if I don't have a reason.
I wish for three whole days by myself. Doesn't even need to be vacation. I'd stay in somebody's basement if I could only have a few days to myself.
I wish for the chance to hang out with my friends once or twice a month.
I wish my whole house were clean.

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Date:2009-10-24 21:57
Mood: grateful

Quinn talks in his sleep.  It's cute, and sometimes a little creepy. (Imagine tiny little voice saying "Mommy, ... Mommy..." in the middle of the night, and then going into their room finding them both asleep.  Creepy).

He's also having a hard time saying "y"'s, so if he offers you a "lucky" diaper, think twice.  I just love it when he calls JoJo Cookies "lummy."

He's really starting to get a mind of his own.  The other day, totally unprompted, he said "want zucchini bread", just like that.  Prior to that, the last time we had talked about it was probably a month before, and he called it kiwi bread.  He's even coming out with what are pretty much full sentences.  And if you've never heard a 23 month old say "semi-circle,"  or "one, two, nine, ten," you're really missing out.  He's just such a joy and such a good kid that I can't help but feel like we lucked out, even when he's excercising his toddler privledge to say "no" in answer to every question.  Especially if he nods his head while he says it. 

And Kai is really starting to notice the world around him.  He loves to look out the window and watch the leaves moving in the trees, just like his big brother did.  He adores the bath and will smile and splash like crazy when I turn on the sink sprayer to rinse him off.  I think he's recognizing songs... today when I started to sing "Ram Sam Sam" (from Music Together class) to him, his whole face brightened into a giant smile, and I was only on the first note!  He can get his hands into his mouth, and his toe into his mouth, and anything else he can manage to get into his hands into his mouth.  And he seems to look for me when he hears my voice if I'm not the one holding him, and he brightens when he sees my face.  That's just one of the greatest things in the world. 

I love my kids, and I think I really lucked out.  Even though it's really, really hard sometimes, and even though I haven't had a decent night's sleep since the beginning of June, I'm very happy to have the adorable little guys.

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